Life's little lessons · The Cork Board

Another sandwich related injury..


Now, I’ll admit that I’m quite smug about the fact that I’m reasonably fit and, as I approach my late fifties, I’m no couch potato. My resting heart rate is practically reptilian. I run at least twice a week and cycle when not running. But I can’t fathom those strange injuries that come from nowhere. How does that happen? I don’t mean the knicks and scratches we all get from time to time from failing to acknowledge an advancing blade but those “I can’t believe I did that” moments.

A few years ago I snapped the tendons in my middle finger of my right hand. I heard a distinct snap and as my finger waved around in the breeze, as it were, all I could think about as how am I going to play my guitar now. Years of fingerstyle practice down the drain. Maybe I’ll have to learn the harmonica. With a certain amount of shock and worry I cradled my finger down to A&E.

The triage nurse gave me a quizzical look. “How did you do it, sir?”

“I was changing a sheet on the bed, “ I whispered.

“Huh?”

“Changing the bed,” I said a little louder. She typed something into her terminal trying not to smirk. I could see it. Then, with a dramatic hand clap, she shouted her colleagues.

 “Okay, ladies, let’s go. Go. We’ve got to get this guy patched up pretty quick. He does housework !”

Sheepishly I picked my way through the crutches, plaster casts and wheel chairs to the front of the queue.

For the next 3 months I was strapped to a lollipop stick which slammed into the dashboard every time I drove the car or nearly took my eye out washing and shaving. I listened to Sonny Boy Williamson records constantly.

Image from sonnyboy.com

But the lovely nurses did their job perfectly and I was back doing housework in no time.

Which brings me to yesterday. I was tucking into my lunchtime sandwich.

Image. Ham and Cheese Sandwich

Not a huge sandwich – I didn’t need lifting gear or anything. It was a 2-hander though to keep the filling in – ham and cheese – jamon y queso (I’ve been learning Spanish) – and just as I was raising my lunch to contact point………..I cricked my shoulder. Damn, ouch, how did that happen? I couldn’t move it for a while. I massaged and wriggled. I had visions (“Just exactly how did you dislocate your shoulder, sir ?” “Okay, let’s get this guy patched up – he’s hungry !” ) ……..

Damn, my shoulder hurts this morning. I massaged and wriggled and took a coupla’ pills till the pain went down. But, hey, how on earth do these things happen ? It’s my sanding arm, too.

I guess I’ll treat it gently and get some deep heat spray on it. All I can say is, take care out there, folks, life’s a minefield.

Image from HappyWomenLoveMen.........(no comment)

204 thoughts on “Another sandwich related injury..

      1. Aw shucks…you’re much too kind!

        Congrats again. Sadly, I can only watch from the sidelines as my awesome blogging friends become Freshly Pressed, one by one. Seems I swear too much. I can’t *&%@ing believe that. 😉

  1. At the very least, you can use these injuries as opportunities to exercise your creativity. For example, if you show up at the ER with your sandwich-related injury, you can tell the smirking nurse that you were injured during a complicated gastronomic manuever. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed and hey, be careful out there!

  2. Most amusing. The line, “from failing to acknowledge an advancing blade…” rather tickled me. So much so that I’m going to recycle it every time I receive an unusually placed cut, which is all too often. Next time you prepare yourself a potentially life-threatening sandwich, perhaps you should cut the crusts off. Your hair won’t grow as curly but the reduced weight might make the experience less of a risk.

    Mac.

  3. Hilarious,
    I was washing a glass in my sink about five months ago, when it shattered, sliced open the pinky side ridge of my right hand, and sent me to the emergency room.
    How do these things happen.
    I don’t know, but i do know that i’m now about $15 hundred dollars poorer.
    At least i met my deductible, now i can look forward to full coverage the next time i hurt myself this year… Yay!
    ~J

    1. Hi Jared, I’m glad you liked the post. But $1500 – wow. I know the NHS gets it’s kicking from time to time but I say unfairly. I wouldn’t be without it (and it looks like I’m gonna need it more often). Good luck with the acting. I’m gonna keep dropping by to see how you are doing. 🙂

      1. Yeah, like Lagavulin too. It’s a good one. I personally always keep a bottle of Highland Park in the cupboard for those pipe and slippers moments (but I don’t smoke but you get the idea).

    2. Yup, washing up is dangerous – I once cut my thumb to the bone on a broken mug I couldn’t see beneath the bubbles. I’m glad I’m not alone!

  4. Hey, great writing! Loved the nurses take on your injury. I agree – we gotta keep the men in shape who do housework. About the sandwich related injury. I once hurt my back bending over to pick up a pencil off the floor. (It was not a spine-related injury, I pulled a back muscle). I was told those things happen when you strain something the day before, and over night or whenever you rest for a fairly long period of time, the injured muscle cools off and tightens up. Then you move, just a little, and “boing!” ouch.

    1. Thanks Janet, I’m glad you liked the post. I tell you, the nurses thought it was highly amusing and when they eventually discharged me they waved a finger and said “You look after your hand, now !!” Take care of your back. They’re scary injuries. Keep well.

  5. Good One!
    Bit too early years for these things to happen to you.
    Elastic fibers lose there elasticity and become stiff fibers and they can snatch without any warning.
    I am getting this in my early 60s and beginning to come to term with them.

  6. That sucks!! I always thought I was unlucky/uncoordinated/clumsy but wow man
    Love your blog, keep posting but be careful lol

  7. This is absolutely by far my favorite FP post all week… OK- it’s only Tuesday, I know… but it has to be one hilarious post to have me spluttering my coffee all over my keyboard at wo…uhm… uh… home, of course… lol… seriously had a really good laugh on a bleak and dark Tuesday afternoon. Needed this today. Thanks!

  8. I hate it when that happens! You can do hard work and nothing, and just one little move and everything falls apart. I think it also has to do with getting older. LOL. I am having problems with my ankle that just won’t go way. Good luck! http://www.countoncross.com

  9. Yep, got a funny pain in my hip and have absolutely no reason why. Maybe it’s my hip’s 45th birthday present to the rest of my body?

  10. I slept on my right should in a strange manner and it just hurts. I made my husband massage the shoulder and he could feel the knot but it did not want to let go. Hope you feel better soon. Guess no Bollywood dance moves for you. Congrats on being freshly pressed.

  11. From one who’s been FP’d to another, congrats. This was a hilarious post. I wish my patients could come up with a story as good as yours when they get injured. Seriously, you need a personal sandwich assistant!

    PS: I’m adding you to my blogroll for more good laughs in the furture.

  12. I managed to fall down the stairs one unusually unlucky day, as my knee chose to lock as i took a step down! And all i could think was that it was the knee that i lunge with when striking the ball playing hockey – I share your pain! Ellie

    1. Hey I hope you are okay now, Ellie. Just when you think you can trust something – ping – there it goes. They betray sometimes, our bodies, just so that we don’t take ’em for granted, huh.
      Keep up the sport. It’s gd for you. Thanks for dropping by and commenting on the post. 🙂

  13. There are those insensitive doctors and nurses out there who say to people like you (and the rest of us),

    “Well, you are getting OLD, you know.”

    I’ve heard this starting in my late twenties.

    Keep up your upbeat life and looking at life, and maybe make a few lifestyle changes that can keep these injuries from rehappening:

    Consider replacing sandwiches with quesadillas, or wraps, maybe a taco — something that does not require using a knife (watch it on the cheese grater, though).

    Instead of a bed, you could roll a sleeping bag out onto the floor. No more sheet related incidents.

    These two simple changes could get you into your sixties intact.

  14. A beautiful sandwich. I am just looking at it. That isn’t iceberg lettuce is it. Just a stiff shoulder. Lucky. I am thinking Titanic. Such a nice sandwich though. Give it full throttle and be darned. Great post. The best in a while. Much enjoyed.

  15. I put my back out a couple of years ago – was so bad, I had to be wheelchaired into A&E. How embarrassed was I? Especially when the doctor asked how I did it.
    ‘Umm…I was sitting on the floor playing with Lego … I reached over for a yellow door for my house and Ping! went my back’!

    Yep! That’s how most forty-year-old women spend their Saturday afternoons 🙂

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed – great post!

  16. No offense, but your misfortune makes for hilarious reading. I’ve often wondered why, sometimes after a good night’s sleep, I’ll wake up with a mysterious ache or pain. Seems like I have more fun in my dreams than awake!

  17. Back in my 30’s I ripped a tendon in my leg simply by lifting up a half empty suitcase to put it on a high shelf. As for sandwich-related trauma, the closest I came was when I cut the webbing between my finger and thumb and needed stiches in a bagel slicing mishap.

  18. Enjoy your posts…many LOL moments. You sound like you are the victim of repetitive motion injuries or doing the same thing over and over again for years on end eventually catch up to you when in a single (a usually very simple task such as picking up a pencil or changing a bedsheet causes this) moment the joint and surrounding tissues give way. In other words…this is where the saying “the straw that broke the camel’s back” would be appropriate to use.

    There are five predetermining factors make a person vulnerable to repetitive joint trauma. These factors include:

    1. Posture

    2. Repetition

    3. Force

    4. Temperature extremes

    5. Vibration

    After evaluating your environment for the above factors here are some suggestions for some changes that can be implemented in your workspace.

    1. Having appropriately sized tools or ergonomically designed tools.

    2. Maintaining proper posture while performing your work and avoiding straining postures.

    3. Taking frequent breaks to momentarily stretch, such as at least 10 minutes for every hour of work.

    4. Having shock mats and supportive shoes for long periods of standing. Supportive and ergonomic chairs for long periods of sitting.

    Some of this information was taken from the article below…I would be happy to help with any questions you may have! Happy blogging!

    http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3841/is_200408/ai_n9453085/?tag=content;col1

    1. Thank you for the advice, Dr. Kathryn. Tools are generally off-the-shelf so I have to hope that some researcher has played their part in making them ergonomically sound. However, 2,3 and 4 I’ll definitely work on, The workbench was built by me to just the right height to minimise bending at the wrong height but when I think about it I do need to sit and stretch slowly more.

  19. I am always wondering how it is that my knee can decide it doesn’t work after a while of me doing Nothing Whatsoever. Or how I can get a pinched nerve in my neck from doing nothing more strenuous than typing the letter “E.” And that’s not even counting the very high risk that at some point I am going to get a concussion or put an eye out from the kitchen cabinet that doesn’t-ever-quite-catch-and-swings-back-at-me.

    I suppose it’s small comfort that I’m not the only one… but comfort nonetheless. Like, at least I’ll have company in line to talk to the smug nurse.

    Congrats on your fresh pressing. 😉

  20. As I age (oh, I don’t like that phrase), my running injuries plague me more than the bubonic sort ever could. Today I was back on the road following a three week rest for a calf strain – not the sort of injury one can boast about either. Real runners look at me in disgust, clearly thinking “that wouldn’t sideline me.” But the pain that shoots up my leg with every hobbling step tells me otherwise.
    The real wisdom comes with listening to our injuries and treating them – like you have obviously learned to do, despite heckling from nurses or anyone else!

  21. Earlier this week, I wasn’t watching (I was probably texting) while I pulled a book off the top. It’s shelf-mate decided to join us by smacking me in the face.

  22. Let me see if I’ve got this right – you live in the Cotswolds, you do housework, and you are funny. Did you make the sandwich too? Never mind. Does your wife know how lucky she is… to live in the Cotswolds?

  23. Aging = hilarity ensues. I hurt my back by sitting too long (working on a computer project). When the doc asked (with great concern) what I did to wrench my back so violently I had to answer: “nothing. I did .. nothing.” Ergh. Getting older .. oy yoy yoy. But I’ll quote my 80 year old mother, “Beats the alternative, kid!” Hope you’re feeling better. And cheers on being fresh pressed, well deserved 🙂 MJ.

  24. That sounds pretty rough. You’ve gotta be more careful! If I injured myself while eating I would cry! I love to eat and need to do it at all times uninhibited.

    Nice post. Thanks for sharing.

  25. I almost dislocated my knee once turning over in bed! Really stretched the tendons because I could barely walk and couldn’t drive for days (had to keep the leg straight). Did that in my late 40’s. What other fun things are coming? You have given me a glimpse, and it’s not pretty.

  26. I enjoyed reading this, I have an older sibling that is pretty accident prone herself. Just recently she tripped, breaking her poor leg in two places. The irony of the whole thing is her booty did all the damage.
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  27. Hmm, you have sandwich-related injuries in your post and, I suspect, a reference to whisky-related injuries in your blog title. Does that indicate a diet of sandwiches and single malt leads to unusual injuries?

    Thanks for a good laugh—it went well with my Jura Superstition.

    (For those not in the know, monkey shoulder was an injury suffered by whisky distillery workers who’d turned one too many batches of malting barley.)

    1. Thanks for the nice comment, Dennis. You can’t beat a quiet moment with a wee dram at the end of a hard day. I didn’t know about the monkey shoulder thing – thanks for the info. – I’ll raise my glass to ya.

      1. You may have discovered a new law of nature! I used the drop saw without incident and promptly brained myself on the laundry line bracket while bringing in the laundry.

  28. Great post…I’m 41 now & find that little things just mess you up for no reason. I don’t do anything to stay in shape (except my job which is mostly physical) so I’m convinced that’s it & not my age….lol. The back of my legs have gotten sore just from raking leaves…that’s crazy. Congrats of getting Freshly Pressed!

  29. I cut my cuticle opening my outplacement package. It’s taken all week to heal that poor finger; and a Band-Aid just won’t stay on. I believe the cuticle was weakened by all the computer work of late. Boo Hoo!

  30. Made me laugh–thanks.
    From one late fifty-er to another, when joints and muscles hurt, I swear by a product called Miracle Rub, from Miracle of Aloe (the company). Then I can pick up all the sandwiches I want!

  31. Thanks for the good laugh. I know what you mean. I can fall up the stairs. My kids scare me at first but keep me laughing. My daughter was recently walking upstairs and when caught by the handrail, it turned her around so she was facing downstairs and she slid down the stairs on her feet expecting to fall the whole time. It looked like she was skiing except for the bounce on each step. Most people fall. She is so funny.

  32. Loved this post. I sprained my back while brushing and had to go for 2 weeks of physical therapy. Imagine my embarrassment and doctor’s perplexed look when I told him how I did it to myself.

  33. This had a laugh out loud moment for me. 🙂 I have had several unintended injuries from doing something dumb – nearly concussed myself head butting the cat scratching pole… I was 25 at the time so I don’t think age has anything to do with these incidents!

  34. Rarely do I stumble upon blog that makes me smile. I love the way you write, very light yet it tickles your funny bone. I’m also a Nurse, by the way. You be careful next time, alright? 😉

  35. As I age, I find my endless and niggling running injuries smaller but more likely to stop me in my tracks: currently it is a strained calf muscle that plagues me more than the bubonic sort ever could. The look in my fellow runner’s eyes says “What kind of a running lightweight are you?”, but the acute pain that shoots up my leg tells me otherwise.
    The wisdom of age means listening to our weakening bodies, despite the disgust of others (and heckling nurses).

  36. Loved it! Hilarious indeed 😀

    & just to let you know, you dont have to reply to MY comment… im scared you might sprain a finger or even worse, your wrist while at it.. ;P lol

    have a good day & thanx for sharing 🙂

  37. Sounds very much like me, seems everyone who has stumbled across your blog falls in to the same line of been able to injure themselves with out really doing a great deal

    🙂

    Well done on being FP

  38. Aaargh. Housework injuries are so unavoidable and unfair and underrated 😦 Terrible thing when you’re prone to OCDing.
    I’ve given myself tennis elbow from all my vacuuming and scrubbing and washing 😦

    Life sure does feel like a battlefield full of mines at times! Hope your shoulder gets better asap 🙂

      1. A man after my own heart 🙂 problem is, when i go out to check on those flowers, i start gardening. that aggravates the elbow even further 😛
        I conclude i am mad. Also maid-less for 33 days… 😦

  39. I hope you drink enough milk. Lack of calcium causes osteoporosis you know and makes you a lot more susceptible to injury.

    As for me I am prone to paper cuts. Really these crisp white sheets of paper can be dangerous and is a potential blade that I have regularly failed to acknowledge.

    Congrats on FP!

  40. Tragically amusing. I have a friend who threw her back out by turning on the table lamp. We Boomers, especially, worship at the Alter of Physical Injury because we refuse to stop doing what we’ve always done. I, personally, have enough metal in my body to bypass airport security (and airports) and fly to where I want to go all by myself.

  41. I did considerable damage to my leg a few months ago working on a ranch in Australia. I had a similar moment with the attending doctor.
    ”I fell into the tractor.”
    ”You mean you fell out of the tractor?”
    ”No, I fell into the tractor.”
    ”Right. Better get you an MRI.”
    ”For my leg?”
    ”No, for your head. Who falls into a tractor?”

    Thanks for the post, thoroughly enjoyed it! 🙂

  42. You know what, I agree completely. These injuries are just weird. I once heard a weird “snap” sound while typing, and later that night I dreamed that I was in the ER with a nurse telling me I’d never be able to use that finger again. When I woke up, I swear to you, I began to move my finger like nuts, thinking that the dream was real. Luckily enough, it was just a dream.
    The other weird thing is that sometimes I get bruises I don’t know how I got. Last week, I discovered this monster bruise on my shin, and I don’t even know how it got there. I don’t remember bumping into anything, or falling down. Then I realized I had hit my shin against the chair the other day, and had simply forgotten about it.
    Great post, and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
    Ashley, aka TheEverydayMuser
    http://www.theeverydaymuser.wordpress.com

    1. Glad you liked it, Ashley. Dreams are powerful things. Once I dreamt that I was eating a Polo mint and it tasted disgusting. I didn’t ever eat Polo mints again for years believing that I hated them. Frightening, isn’t it ! Be careful of solid objects. Take care 🙂

  43. I was immediately caught by the cartoon and the title. And when I was reading this, I couldn’t but smile…throughout the whole thing. It was hilarious. I love it!

  44. Brilliant post…though I’m sorry about your finger and shoulder! I can sympathize, though…I once broke my leg making meatloaf! By the bye, how’s the harmonica playin’ coming? You just can’t beat Sonny Boy. 😉

    1. Oh wow, now that surely is a story, breaking your leg making meatloaf !! Harmonica playing ? A bit Bob Dylan – you know, suck – blow – suck -blow – in all the wrong places. Thank you for the kind words. 🙂

      1. Yes, well, I’m quite short, and my house has a high wall oven. I was on a step-stool, checking to see if the meatloaf was done. I turned around too quickly, flipped off the stool, and broke my leg. Most expensive meatloaf I ever ate…AND it was too dry! Well, keep playing…the world needs more bluesmen! 🙂 Lovely guitar pics up, by the way.

  45. I can relate! I’ve messed up both my hamstring and my shoulder in the last 3 weeks – my shoulder injury seems to be stemming from my practice of sleeping on my side. I know, right? Ridiculous. Very funny post. Congrats on being FP’d!

  46. after periodically face-planting and slamming my helmet-ed head against an ice sheet snowboarding, i’ve been forgetting an item (scarf, gloves, shopping bag) 1 out of every 3 times i go out.

    very disturbing. but i figure if your fate it what awaits me… i’m going full speed ahead.

  47. Who knew that I had so many kindred spirits out there? If it can be cut, broken, bruised or scratched, you can bet that I’ll find a way to do it – and there will be a funny story to match! lol My husband asks at least once a week where did a mysterious bruise or scratch come from, all I can answer is ‘I have no idea’. 🙂

    Great blog and congrats on being FP!

  48. Nicely written; definitely raised a chuckle or two!

    I never snapped a tendon making the bed, but I did dislocate a finger once. Fortunately it popped straight back in. Was bloody sore for a few days afterwards though!

  49. I enjoy your humor. I sustained a shin bruise from playing Wii bowling. It kinda happened that way. My 19-year-old was giving me a chest-bumping congratulations, and I flew into the hallway door facing!

    1. A-ha, you see, you thought, what harm can come to me bowling in the living room and not even with a real ball? 🙂 I would ban chest-bumping if I was you, particularly with the kids, and especially if they are bigger than you. Glad you liked my post and thanks for commenting. Maybe high-fives in future, eh ? ! 🙂

  50. This is a hoot! I have returned to read this several times because it just makes me laugh and makes my day. Love the blog and your writing. You are the first blog I’ve subscribed to. Looking forward to more posts!

  51. I once broke the fibula in my right leg as well as badly dislocating my right ankle; I had to have multiple shots of morphine to relocate the ankle, and an operation to attach a metal plate with 6 screws to the broken bone in my leg was necessary.
    How did I do this?
    Lying on my back on the roof of a friends car, car surfing but not holding on. As the hatchback went round a corner, I kept going in a straight line and my right leg met the concrete at some force.
    The shame of doing something so dumb led me to lie to my parents for 2 months, claiming I’d jumped over a tennis net and landed awkwardly.

  52. Ohhhh nnnooooooooooo, what exactly was going through your head as the car went one way and you went the other ? Jeezzuus. ! Anyway, it’s good that you lived to tell the tale. I guess your car surfing days are over, huh? Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting, number8pie (what is Pie No. 8 ?)

  53. Oh my – please forgive my laughter. it is strange how some of the oddest things we do can cause us injury. I know someone who broke their ankle and got a concussion while playing miniature golf.

    Sounds like we all need to make a run to Costco to get the giant 30 gallon tub of tylenol for all those pains.

  54. From a way-too-long obsessive-painting binge, i suddenly halted all painting when my shoulder screamed, ‘if you don’t slow down, i’ll do it for you!’ — wow, inflamed bursitis – i never knew that ‘bursitis’ hurt so much! after a trip to the doctor, meds, a month ‘off’ from painting, i resumed the series and after a few hours, my shoulder screamed again. not good. it’s never done that.
    i visited a kinesiologist, who worked magic on the shoulder (and arm) — he linked it to an old injury and realigned everything back in place-

    i’ve painted 30-something paintings in the year since, and still not one hint of pain. i sent him a thank-you note yesterday!
    if only all problems could be solved so easily!
    the sandwich looks good, btw!

    1. Thank you for comment, PZD. I’m glad the shoulder is sorted. Silly things aren’t they, sometimes, silly injuries. For about 6 months now I have had an rsi in my right arm…….from too much guitar practice. Good grief. Talk about suffering for your art, eh?! Take care ! 🙂

  55. Wow! I started reading this post then realised from the size (lack of size) of the scroll bar that you’d been Freshly Pressed! (And that the post is fairly old and still going strong in your sidebar – well done!)

    I know about these weird injuries… About a week ago while I was cleaning my teeth or washing (I can’t even remember which), I must’ve just turned slightly and felt my back go and sure enough ended up with a bout of lumbago. I mean, pretty much from doing nothing!

    My husband just read your post. He also plays guitar and said something to the effect of “I don’t do beds” meaning – now he never will! 😉

    1. Hi Val, Thanks for stopping by and commenting. This post just keeps running and running. Sorry to hear about your back problems. The worst thing about niggley injuries is that they come out of nowhere, isn’t it. Now, if you put your back out digging a trench that would be understandable. My advice to your husband is that if he doesn’t do beds then don’t start – they can be lethal to the untrained. I still do them – but very gingerly. 🙂

  56. I know this thread is pretty old, but I was searching the web and came across it. 🙂 I sprained my ankle severely and got a minor buckle fracture in my foot by slipping on my way INTO a roller skating place. I wasn’t even inside yet. 😦

    1. Don’t you feel silly when these things happen ! Bit of a dramatic way to get out of skating though… Hope you are up and about soon and back in the rink, swooshing and swishing. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It’s appreciated.

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