The Cork Board

The Goss.


A recent episode of This American Life touched upon life in lockdown and how even Zoom calls are falling by the wayside due to the mundanity of life. We are all doing the same, it seems. Get up, have breakfast, faff about, snacks, lunch, more faffing, dinner, bed – repeat. One woman decided to liven things up by asking everyone she met – in any context – if they had any gossip. Just gossip, even about people she didn’t know. What’s the goss?

Here’s the goss – well, in our village it seems that the vicar, well, she’s … 

As boredom sets in what else can you play with? I tried letting my hair grow long. No-one was going to see it much if I finished up looking scraggy. Had it cut in lockdown-lift and then tried long beard instead. Again, who’s gonna see and comment? My beard is white as white these days so after allowing it to thicken up I decided on a new highly specific career path for one month of the year anyway. 

We’ve been bingeing “Goliath” on Amazon recently and so I decided that the next variation in facial adornment would be a Billy Bob Thornton version. It started okay but my chin is not as square as Mr.Cool’s – more weak and pointy à la King Charles. It’s worth a try anyway. I have to boost my allure somehow. 

I recently applied a new aftershave addition to one’s tender cheeks and on both recent occasions Mrs. Monkey asked me if I was wearing Fiery Jack (other embrocations are available). So I guess that’s for the bin.

Good news department – we’ve bought a cow. Ta-dah! I think we’ll call her Daisy.

She is the first of half-a-dozen indigenous variety cows that are being bought and given to widows in rural Andhra Pradesh as a source of income and hopefully, security. The cow produces milk which can be sold, and hopefully a calf which – and so on. 

Our work with Chaithanya (see previous posts) is coming to an end since after 30 years our friends there are calling it a day. We will cease formal fundraising but will still continue to kickstart small new projects like this one in an unofficial capacity. Chaithanya carried out superb work in the region for 30 years and now it is time to retire and let the kids take over. 

Finally, grumbles. I have been thinking for a long while about quitting WordPress as a place for this blog after many years of service. I find the new Block Editor slow, unresponsive, inflexible, and it takes me far too long to put a post together. The Classic Editor has been tweaked, I’m sure, to make it harder to work with than it was before so that you have to use the Block Editor. The Help button is useless. So, WordPressers, Bloggers, if you have any advice or recommendations shout me in the comments – my life is too short.

With that, chin up. I have banquette seating to build in the kitchen. If lockdown goes on any longer the inside of our house will look like the Palace of Versailles. 

Pip pip.

2 thoughts on “The Goss.”

  1. If you think things are quite over there, my main achievement over here, since our last email, is finding someone who actually fixes old fountain pens and manufacturers with his lathe etc unsourceable parts.
    So now my 40 year old Parker 75 write like it did when I bought it new. And all for a small amount of money.
    The pleasure of the ink going onto paper is slower than printer, but so much much more sensually satisfying.
    In this instance I couldn’t get the ink to dry onto the screen, so had to use the keypad (sorry)
    Perhaps our home time will see us repair rather than discard, although always happy to discard all things political…
    Stay safe and well up there
    From down under

    1. Hi Mal, I agree with you that repairing is better and more fun when it works. And glad that you got your 40 year old Parker sorted. Ink and paper is therapeutic and can really be satisfying. Hope you are both well and stay that way. Al

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