It is Friday evening, it’s been a hard week, especially for Mrs. Monkey, who has muted the tv and crawled off to bed unusually early, to read, roll over, and recharge. The lights are down, the candles are flickering and I, true to form on such thoughtful, reflective occasions, have poured myself a wee dram of Highland Park.
I am pretty maverick when it comes to New Years resolutions. Sometimes I make’em – sometimes I don’t. This year I made one but didn’t tell anyone, just in case I couldn’t live up to my promise to myself.
I decided way back a couple of months ago to make the effort. To not succumb to the “It’s too difficult” – “It’ll never happen” – “I’m too tired” mindset. I decided it was worth it if I could pull it off.
I decided to use my life on screen to facilitate my life off of it. I decided to make contact with the outside world. I would catch up with friends and relatives, old and new, face to face. Shake hands, air kiss and man hug. Scary, I know.
Facebook has facilitated more than one link-up across the world bringing together many a long lost friendship but the cyber contact can be dry and distancing, can’t it?
So, after a stuttering start, I clicked off and kicked off.
On Monday, I caught up with an old friend I hadn’t seen for 43 years. We rabbited for 3 hours and only stopped because we couldn’t possibly drink anymore and still make it home. We had a lot of ground to cover.
In the process of arranging that reconnection I stayed overnight with my parents, both in their 80’s and both rambling on. Again, I think the last time I did that I was 22. And in the course of the idle conversation, freed from the lack of time pressure , I learned things about them I would never have done during one of my normal 2 hour visits.
Tomorrow I will catch up with an old friend I haven’t seen for a couple of years and I know it will be fun.
Time is a stealer. We all know it. “If only I wasn’t so busy.” There’s always an excuse. But for people who catch up, who make the effort, it’s more than a trip down memory lane. It’s more than feeling that warm glow of nostalgia. It’s about ratification. The human condition. The sense that what we have done and will do is shared with other people. It had and has some validity. A substantiated shared experience.
And as you look back you begin to see the effects of the accidents of happenstance, the forks in the road. If my grandfather hadn’t died at the age of 32, way back in the first half of the last century, the chances are I would have become a farmer. The societal pressures and expectations of the time would have seen to it. Now that feels weird given the contrast with the life I have led. My farming life would have been very different. I might have had muscles for a start!
So I blog, like millions of others, and lob these random thoughts into the Milky Way of interstellar data. And from the Starship SinglemaltMonkey reflect – The webster is an essential tool, but connection speeds can be a lot faster.
Open the Pod Bay door, Hal.
singlemaltmonkey 
Love the Dali. Never tried HP. Orkney isn’t it? Nah, love the peaty islays.
Some of the really peaty ones are not to my taste but the really old ones, if you can afford the beggars, are excellent. HP is a smooth malt and doesn’t demand too much of you. Just a nice relaxing malt. Think I’ll get a job as a barker scribe or something.
I love that Dali too, never tried whiskey but I’m tempted by all this glowing praise…
What an amazing post to read from you today, I’m beginning to believe in synchronicity. As I wrote in my last post, I felt so very reclusive, shunning friends like Grumpy cat. Then I read something about keeping one’s girlfriends close cos they are gold as we grow old. And then I did an about-turn. Or maybe an about-turn happened to me. Old school friends came out of the woodworks all of a sudden, saying wonderful things, reaching out. And when just a couple of hours ago I had been distraught about how to effectively shut myself off, I found myself now setting up dates to meet up. One friend who just flew in from the US tentatively messaged to say she wanted to see me….I said come right over. She just wanted to come for ten minutes and give me a tight hug. Another old school friend is going to meet up today as well at some point. Then last night, yet another old school friend read my blog and felt she simply had to speak to me….we haven’t met or spoken in 22 years…and so she called me from Canada and we ended up yakking for 2 hours! It was amazing. We discovered that we have daughters the same age and we both bought them foundation(makeup) for the first time last week! 😀
Isn’t life amazing?
So I love what you’re setting out to do. Total approval. Go forth, intrepid soldier.
Loved that you spent the night at your parents. Very intrigued about the titbit of history regarding your grandfather.
Wow, that’s great, Mun. So pleased that you are managing to catch up with old friends and enjoying the connections again. As for synchronicity, some days it goes like that, doesn’t it? Whiskey is an acquired taste – it really is. But anything in moderation is not going to hurt anyone, I don’t think.
My father’s grandfather kept a farm, pre-WW2, and his eldest son was my grandfather who did most of the work and the running of the farm as he grew up and the old man got older. The plans in such circumstances always were/are , I guess, that the oldest inherits the farm and keeps it going. If that had happened, my Dad would have grown up on the farm, and then most probably me and my brothers, and in the long run the farm would have come to him. However, my grandfather died of an illness in 1939 at the age of just 32, when my Dad was just 7 years old, and thus the farm fell into disrepair and was sold. Thereby hangs the key twist of fate. I would have been a farmer’s boy with strand of corn between my teeth n’all. Funnily enough, I grew up passing the farm on my way to school every day and never knew. It was just never mentioned.
I love the theme of reconnection here and hope it continues to go well for you. As for whiskey, I love saying the word and the very idea of it, but when a drop hits my tongue, I realize how little chance there is that I’ll ever drink too much of it. 🙂
Hi Ré, thanks for your comment. I blame my Mother-in-Law. 🙂 I’d had the odd nip from time to time in early adulthood and could take it or leave it. Then one Christmas she gave me a guide book on the best single malt whiskeys in the world. Damn if I didn’t have to try some. :0 I treat my wee drams as a treat now. You know what they say about getting older.It takes longer to recover from a good night than the night itself. But I have learned to enjoy a good one. Drink less – drink better. My motto. Hic.
this is a good reminder tome that I need to reconnect in the real world too! Due to peripatetic living – we live in the Midlands, and work in Essex, our social lives have dwindled to seeing people outside of family very rarely , except for housemates in shared accomodation in Essex. Not a healthy or a balanced lifestyle. We aim to kick the Essex work into touch by this time next year, but that is procrastinating! I need to rekindle old friendships before then. Sadly I never got into Whisky, which my husband is delighted about. HIs son bought him a cracking bottle for his bday/xmas gift – a special blend of HIghland whiskies . I liked the box.
Thanks for visiting and commenting, modestly. Time flies and doesn’t take any prisoners on it’s way. We too live miles away from family and old friends and the only way to make sure things happen is to plan it as you would a weekend trip or business meeting – something that would likely as not be immovable in the calendar. So far it’s working. Good luck with your travelling. I hope you manage even a cake and coffee somewhere with a friend or two. PS. I liked your creative stuff on your blog. Nice work.
such an enjoyable piece Al. continue…
Thank you, sir.