I start to write – to rationalise some thought process – there is nothing and there is everything – words and thoughts swim, no, float, aimlessly until plucked like a fairground duck with a hook –
so much background noise – so many routes to here – I am a mass of what I was, where I’ve been, what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard, what I’ve said, what I’ve thought, who I’ve loved, who I love. And I expect things to be simple ?!
Drew my first real picture that made people stop when I was 9 – submitted a poem at 16 as my Chemistry exam paper – picked up my first guitar at 14 – scored my first goal that mattered at 16. I colleged – I studied – I rebelled – I hipped, man – I taught – I married – I procreated – I married again. Saw shooting stars on an August morning – snow so deep the blue lit night – I suited – I booted – I led that band – I strained I prayed and walked all day till weariness brought sleep before the TV beep – and much more, much much more –
So I try to put together a plan and think it will be easy – a plan for what’s next on a blank piece of paper and with all those words floating in the pool – the pool, that iswas me – waiting for the loop on the stick to hook the duck –
there’s a brown leather trunk it’s skin creased by sun and skies I’ve never seen now resting with a story in each scrape each wrinkle each scar it bears from a careless porter – raise the lid – sift it, sort it, keep what’s necessary and throw the rest, the mask the comics keep the letters – they’re from those who love you, – pile it up, cast it out, but how – how – how ?
singlemaltmonkey 
Very nice narrative; we’ve all had similar conversations with ourselves. I especially liked, ” I am a mass of what I was, where I’ve been, what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard, what I’ve said, what I’ve thought, who I’ve loved, who I love. And I expect things to be simple ?! ” –
Z
Thanks Z. I wrote it as a streamofconsciousness thing to see what happened. I’m not sure it clarified anything, though.
That is exactly what I thought, but I refrained from stating that! It was brilliant, just rolling out in one sweet narrative of thought! z
You’re slipping behind on the Mustgetbeers FF league. Man up and never mind the angst!
Haha, it’s a marathon not a sprint. 🙂
Something tells me if you tug at that lose string enough a whole satchel of stories will come out..wonderful, life stories..
Thanks, Lynne. I seem to have so many ideas but no starting points. Gotta get my spikes in the blocks somehow……….(Olympic metaphor, see how I did that ? 🙂 hahaha )
Wow, Al … you’ve explained your personal view of the creative journey so well that I can see its similarities to my own. Isn’t it wonderful when writing does that?
Especially in your last paragraph, the sifting, the sorting, the hows resonate with me.
I’m always so relieved, on one level, when the duck hooks itself onto my loop, because I’ve always been too clumsy to manage it myself. 🙂
Thanks, Ré. I know what you mean and maybe that’s the real life metaphor for it all. The harder you try the harder it gets – relaxing and letting it be can work. It’s a bit hit and miss though, I guess, trying hard seems to make more sense and at least takes away the element of chance.
Glad I’m not the only one trying to put together a plan for what’s next and waiting for the loop to hook the duck. Loved the post!
Haha, thanks Lynn.
Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but I just wanted to let you know my book, The Bellman Chronicles, will be available to download for absolutely FREE on my Amazon Kindle page on Sept. 10 – 11! Check it out – and slip me a review if you can – and I guarantee you won’t be disappointed…
By the way, I love your idea about the stickers. I just have to save up the cash to put that plan into action…