The Cork Board

Don’ let yer manure pile stink


...that's me on the right...

I jus’ gotta say afor we start I’ll try to speak real like but I might slip into my ol’country ways and terms – don’ mean no offence – don’ take nun –

well, we got a coupla Councillors round these parts. Always got something to say about this n that and they’re kickin up dust agin. There’s this little old fella over yonder – been a neighbour about these parts for years – he ain’t partic’larly poplar – bit lippy, I guess – an ‘ee keeps a tight rein on the kids – got lots o’ kids – well, he’s after his own manure pile and these Councillor fellars don’t like it – don’t like it one bit –

Some while back there wuz this other neighbour and these Councillors fell outta sorts with him – they reckoned ‘e ‘ad a manure pile – said they could smell it for miles- but he said he don’t  – no matter – Councillor fellas took it to the Town Council an’ said that he had this manure pile ‘cos they could smell it – they couldn’t see it but they sure could smell it – anyways, just about ev’rybdy had some truck with this neighbour – he had lots of kids too and he sure beat’em sometimes – so the Councillor fellas get their ‘dozers and they take down ‘is fence – now ev’rybody mightn’t like this fella but turns out he didn’t have no manure pile after all – sad thing was some o’the kids got hurt when the fence fell in – Councillor fellas, ballsy as you like, din’t make no mind – just said one ‘o them things n’ – anyway, we’ll put the fence back –

He’s gone nar – kids still aroun’ though –

Anyways, Little Lippy Fella wants his own manure pile – says the kids are growin’ and they need feedin’ n’all – you know kids – always wanting sumthin – an’  his neighbours got manure piles so why’s the worry –

...just in case ya'll need clarification -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These Councillor fellas ain’t happy about Lippy Fella havin’ a manure pile – they say he’s fixing one right now –  they say that if he gets his manure pile then he’ll tell ‘is kids to lob patty-bombs over the neighbours fence an’ the neighbours kids’ll lob some back – I don’t see that mysell – just create one helluvamess to clean up –

Council fellas getting pissed though – I don’t know – Council fellas don’t have a good record on dealin’ in manure piles an’anyway – maybe Lippy Fellas kids jus’ growin’ –

Seems to me jus’ kids get caught in the middle while these Councillor Men and the Lippy Fella trade horse-shit –

That’s me – I got hogs to feed –

12 thoughts on “Don’ let yer manure pile stink

  1. Such a great way to put it, Al. Nonsensical government deeds explained (or logical ones when looked at from the dark side they came from.) Anyway, this shone a light on it. I wish our ‘leaders’ could understand.

    1. Thank you, Ré. I’m trying my best not to get steamed up about the Iran rhetoric. It’s just so transparent. The men in suits must think we’re stupid. I’m glad you see clearly though. Spread the word.

  2. Love it, and btw, all my relatives in the Appalachian Mountains speak with a similar dialect, except my daughter and grandson, but then they’re a little more educated than the rest of the family. 🙂

    1. Thanks Katrina, glad you liked it. I was hoping no-one would take offence at the spoof but I did realise that we all have accents that are “spoofable” . I come from the North of England and it stands out a mile. 🙂

      1. I would never take offense, I have conquered my accent for the most part, but when I’m really tired or upset, I revert back to the ‘old ways’ Thanks for the post.

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