Don’ let yer manure pile stink

I jus’ gotta say afor we start I’ll try to speak real like but I might slip into my ol’country ways and terms – don’ mean no offence – don’ take nun –

well, we got a coupla Councillors round these parts. Always got something to say about this n that and they’re kickin up dust agin. There’s this little old fella over yonder – been a neighbour about these parts for years – he ain’t partic’larly poplar – bit lippy, I guess – an ‘ee keeps a tight rein on the kids – got lots o’ kids – well, he’s after his own manure pile and these Councillor fellars don’t like it – don’t like it one bit –

Some while back there wuz this other neighbour and these Councillors fell outta sorts with him – they reckoned ‘e ‘ad a manure pile – said they could smell it for miles- but he said he don’t  – no matter – Councillor fellas took it to the Town Council an’ said that he had this manure pile ‘cos they could smell it – they couldn’t see it but they sure could smell it – anyways, just about ev’rybdy had some truck with this neighbour – he had lots of kids too and he sure beat’em sometimes – so the Councillor fellas get their ‘dozers and they take down ‘is fence – now ev’rybody mightn’t like this fella but turns out he didn’t have no manure pile after all – sad thing was some o’the kids got hurt when the fence fell in – Councillor fellas, ballsy as you like, din’t make no mind – just said one ‘o them things n’ – anyway, we’ll put the fence back –

He’s gone nar – kids still aroun’ though –

Anyways, Little Lippy Fella wants his own manure pile – says the kids are growin’ and they need feedin’ n’all – you know kids – always wanting sumthin – an’  his neighbours got manure piles so why’s the worry –

These Councillor fellas ain’t happy about Lippy Fella havin’ a manure pile – they say he’s fixing one right now –  they say that if he gets his manure pile then he’ll tell ‘is kids to lob patty-bombs over the neighbours fence an’ the neighbours kids’ll lob some back – I don’t see that mysell – just create one helluvamess to clean up –

Council fellas getting pissed though – I don’t know – Council fellas don’t have a good record on dealin’ in manure piles an’anyway – maybe Lippy Fellas kids jus’ growin’ –

Seems to me jus’ kids get caught in the middle while these Councillor Men and the Lippy Fella trade horse-shit –

That’s me – I got hogs to feed –