‘Tis the season to be jelly and fathers everywhere will be taking to the party dance floor whilst their offspring head for cover and deny any relationship. Some will turn and cringe. Others will decide that it’s time for that crafty cigarette they’ve been longing for. Others will accept that Dad likes to dance just as monkeys like nuts and reflect on the similarity.
So, as a Dad and proud dancer ( to certain tunes anyway) here are my top tips to minimise your embarrassment whilst maximising that of your children.
- Hips and legs – one at a time, not together.
- Shoulder dipping – no, – you’re not Lionel Messi .
- Bopping and popping – try not to look like a Masai Mara warrior – best restricted.
- If you want to get noticed do it properly. Go dressed as Jim Carey in The Mask.
Going dressed in just a sheet saying that you thought it was a Toga party will impress no-one.
5. That thumping sound is the beat, not your heart, hopefully. Think of it as a basic movement indicator.
6. Arms – note to self – the John Travolta trajectory is quite steep.
7. Shoulder shrug – are you kidding?
8. The pretty thing from next door home from university for the holidays sharpens her social skills by agreeing to dance with you. She does not want the finer points of Hawkwind’s “Silver Machine” shouted into her ears while you try your fanciest moves. It’s not becoming.
9. Air Guitar – no – If you could you would but you can’t so don’t.
10. “YMCA” ! – you should be aware that someone may have a shotgun, or worse, a camera. Best avoided.
Happy shuffling, folks. Please feel free to add your own below.