‘Tis the season to be jelly and fathers everywhere will be taking to the party dance floor whilst their offspring head for cover and deny any relationship. Some will turn and cringe. Others will decide that it’s time for that crafty cigarette they’ve been longing for. Others will accept that Dad likes to dance just as monkeys like nuts and reflect on the similarity.
So, as a Dad and proud dancer ( to certain tunes anyway) here are my top tips to minimise your embarrassment whilst maximising that of your children.
- Hips and legs – one at a time, not together.
- Shoulder dipping – no, – you’re not Lionel Messi .
Lionel Messi dips a shoulder - Bopping and popping – try not to look like a Masai Mara warrior – best restricted.
- If you want to get noticed do it properly. Go dressed as Jim Carey in The Mask.
Going dressed in just a sheet saying that you thought it was a Toga party will impress no-one.
5. That thumping sound is the beat, not your heart, hopefully. Think of it as a basic movement indicator.
6. Arms – note to self – the John Travolta trajectory is quite steep.
7. Shoulder shrug – are you kidding?
8. The pretty thing from next door home from university for the holidays sharpens her social skills by agreeing to dance with you. She does not want the finer points of Hawkwind’s “Silver Machine” shouted into her ears while you try your fanciest moves. It’s not becoming.
9. Air Guitar – no – If you could you would but you can’t so don’t.
10. “YMCA” ! – you should be aware that someone may have a shotgun, or worse, a camera. Best avoided.
Happy shuffling, folks. Please feel free to add your own below.
singlemaltmonkey 
You left out “anything even vaguely resembling a shagging motion” – also verboten!
Good post
Rob.
Hahaha, hey Rob, you are dead right ! thanks for dropping by and commenting. 🙂
To the un-initiated this could be mistaken as giving our secrets away.
Personally I prefer hovering on the edge looking as though I might until someone bribes me not to with beer. Never, ever fails.
RR
Good tactic, RR, I’ll try that one myself.
Funny post. I love me some Messi! He’s one serious soccer player!
Thanks Jennifer. I like watching Messi too. Brilliant and such a sportsman – no diving or moaning for him.
Too bad other soccer players don’t learn something from Messi. He is after all one of the best soccer players ever created! Yeah, I love me some soccer! Played for 15yrs when I was a kid.
I like dressing at the Mask! Maybe I’ll do that on Christmas Eve at my mother in law’s oh so proper party. Husband would probably kill me though. Better wait until New Year’s eve to bust it out.
Haha, the Mask outfit is great. Everybody notices you and if you keep the Mask on no-one knows who you are. You can really shake out your moves. 🙂
Lucky for me my dad is quite the good dancer as his side of the family was blessed with rhythm. He loves to swing dance. Moms side, not so much; they all lack rhythm. Ever seen the movie”The Jerk” with Steve Martin? They’re like him before he finds his rhythm. I should send them a copy of this post.
Ah, blessed with rhythm. If you are a man and you have that gift it stands out a mile. I trust you are well,chaos5150, and hope you get to dance this Christmas. Thanks for stopping by and commenting…..and if your Dad has any tips?
Heheh, the guys at WordPress who keep an eye on you should FP this one, Al.
Thanks for the giggle!
Glad you liked it. 🙂
I had that exact thought! 🙂
I agree, FP all the way – i got tears in my eyes! How about we 86; the electric slide, the macarana, the cha cha slide — how about us men at large just boycott these songs, and head to the bar for a single malt. Oban for me plz… on second thought, better make it a double 🙂
Great idea, Jared. If we ain’t got rhythm faking it is worse. 🙂
(not that there’s anything wrong with it but…) any guy who does even tiny one dance step to YMCA should turn in his man card. enjoyed this. continue…
Hahaha, “…turn in his man card…” Good one.
I think this is why my family doesn’t dance in public! My dad has one move: the two-shoulder shrug. 🙂
Hahah, see Tip No.7 eh? It’s always out there somewhere. You need to work on his legs and hips, Lisa. 🙂
My husband needs to read this! His moves are underwhelming (by his own admission)….. 🙂
K
At least he dances, Kemi.Most of us have to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the bar. 🙂