Wow, two posts in one day. Because this was fun to do and because Groucho received an honourable mention in my last post I thought I would trot out my favourite Groucho quotes, plus, a rare quote lifted from a radio snippet which I love.
I understand the people of a certain generation don’t get this. But don’t you just wish you could be this quick witted – though you might not have many friends left. Enjoy the man and his humour.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren’t developed. . . But we’re going back next year.
Ice Water? Get some Onions – that’ll make your eyes water!
Now there’s a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!
I’m 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course and a nuisance around the house.
Send 2 dozen roses to Room 424 and put “Emily I love you” on the back of the bill.
You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t leave in a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon you can leave in a minute and huff.
“Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
We’ll meet at the theatre tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
Ever since I’ve met you I’ve swept you off my feet
I repeat sir, you’re a contemptible cur. If I were a man you’d resent that.
…………and finally, when Groucho was hosting his own radio chat show he interviewed a lady from the southern States who had 11 children, it went something like this………
G. So, Mrs. ………, you have 11 children. That’s a lot of children.
Mrs. X Well, sir , I love my husband.
G. I love my cigar but I take it out from time to time.
singlemaltmonkey 
I’ve always wanted to possess that sort of wit. Like Groucho or Dorothy Parker. While I can be funny, that quick retort is not my forte. “I love my cigar but I take it out from time to time.” Priceless. And it was extemporaneous, done right there on live radio. Brilliant.
The radio show was recorded in front of a live audience and they just wet themselves at this point. Great wit.
Hilarious! What a guy!
Absolutely !
Now there’s a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!
Super Like! 😀
I think that’s a great one. Your challenge is to throw it into conversation and see what a reaction you get. 🙂