Asking someone which laws they would introduce if they had the power (a dictatorship) can elicit answers often very revealing about them as a person, not just their politics. And it’s fun to do. But this is not meant to be serious, folks, not this time. Maybe next time. But seriously, here are some laws I would like to see introduced here in the UK:
- Anyone texting and not looking where they are going can be tripped up or shoulder charged as a socially acceptable greeting. (I’ve seen the Youtube video of the texter in the mall………..priceless !) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg11glsBW4Y (for those who haven’t)
- Any dullard heard to say “These immigrants come here and take all our jobs and benefits” can be slapped and committed to an asylum where they will be forced to complete assignments on the search for truth in politics and the media.
- No-one is allowed to stand for Governmental office until they have started shaving (including the women).
- Blancmange will be served as the only dessert at school meals.(Bring back the Blancmange …………look out Andy Murray.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMCNltgrs1U
- Stand-up comedians must tell jokes. Comedians who can only get laughs by shouting will be charged under the Trade Descriptons Act. (You know who you are.)
- Ban the “Cradling Baby” routine from goal celebrations……………….yeah,yeah,yeah, let’s move on !
- 1000 lines of “I must never use the phrase ‘It is right..’ for any politician who begins a statement with the phrase “ It is right……..”
- 2000 lines of “I do not represent ALL the British people.” For any politician who uses the phrase “The British people want/ do not want….” . Invariably the jerk is not speaking for me!
…..anyway, enough new laws. I’m beginning to sound like a grumpy old fart and we wouldn’t want that, would we ?! (No, dear.)