The Cork Board

Which laws would you introduce ?


Asking someone which laws they would introduce if they had the power (a dictatorship) can elicit answers often very revealing about them as a person, not just their politics. And it’s fun to do. But this is not meant to be serious, folks, not this time. Maybe next time. But seriously, here are some laws I would like to see introduced here in the UK:

  1. Anyone texting and not looking where they are going can be tripped up or shoulder charged as a socially acceptable greeting. (I’ve seen the Youtube video of the texter in the mall………..priceless !)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg11glsBW4Y    (for those who haven’t)
  2. Any dullard heard to say “These immigrants come here and take all our jobs and benefits” can be slapped and committed to an asylum where they will be forced to complete assignments on the search for truth in politics and the media.
  3. No-one is allowed to stand for Governmental office until they have started shaving (including the women).
    Our 6th Form Prime Minister

     

    ........his Lower 6th opponent.
  4. Blancmange will be served as the only dessert at school meals.(Bring back the Blancmange …………look out Andy Murray.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMCNltgrs1U
  5. Stand-up comedians must tell jokes. Comedians who can only get laughs by shouting will be charged under the Trade Descriptons Act. (You know who you are.)
  6. Ban the “Cradling Baby” routine from goal celebrations……………….yeah,yeah,yeah, let’s move on !   
  7. 1000 lines of “I must never use the phrase ‘It is right..’ for any politician who begins a statement with the phrase “ It is right……..”
  8. 2000 lines of “I do not represent ALL the British people.” For any politician who uses the phrase “The British people want/ do not want….” . Invariably the jerk is not speaking for me!

…..anyway, enough new laws. I’m beginning to sound like a grumpy old fart and we wouldn’t want that, would we ?! (No, dear.)

16 thoughts on “Which laws would you introduce ?

  1. No-one is allowed to stand for Governmental office until they have started shaving (including the women) – LOL .. am trying to squeeze my mind to visualise that..I see scores of politicians standing in line and shaving 😛

  2. I had to explain to my roomate what i was reading when i burst out with a laugh on #1! Ahhh… Good times 🙂 Ok, let’s see now (i can actually visualize myself shoulder checking some people in times square still, my eyes are running and my cheeks burn :-). Must focus!
    Ok, ahem, no politician can be elected to any office — across the globe — unless he/she has spent at least a minimum of one year being poor. Spin them around in a circle in the town square, give them a push and say good luck. Leave them with debt, no diploma, about 2 grand in the bank, and an accent, and see how they do. Then and only then can they have a respected opinion on a populace as a whole.
    If CEO’s cannot dutifully fill the role of their basest employees, their wadges should be switched.
    War’s should not involve a nations army when three people in a protected board room, disagree with the policy’s of another three people in a different board room. Slap some gloves on em, toss em in the ring with a kangaroo, and to the winner goes the spoils of the debate.
    People who litter should live in garbage dumps.
    People who hunt for sport, and not food, should be subject to a scenario like “The most dangerous game”
    Great post

    1. I like your ideas, Jared. I think boxing kangaroos could come in very useful….and I would dearly love to see our Eton educated politicians slum it real. (It is a fact that George Osborne, our Chancellor of the Exchequer, is so rich he’s never actually had a proper job……..good grief, Charlie Brown ! )

  3. # 9 Interesting and you know SMM, this happens here in India too. F*** politicians claim as they represent entire section of people but if you check statistics, you’ll find they got voted in by mere 33% of voters because rest 77 % voters were divided between tens of other candidates.
    Santhosh

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